Sun and Futile Struggles (Not To Be Confused with Feudal Struggles)

My life seems to be a constant struggle to delude myself into thinking that everything is peachy. This has never worked, but looking at all the things pulling me down and dealing with them the best I can has.

I'm worried about money, how my classes are going, being alone so much, my family, and a million billion other things. Yet, I'm decently happy for the first time in awhile. It's not that I've been extremely unhappy all the time, but happiness has been fleeting like sun on a cloudy day. It's wonderful when it breaks through, but then it's gone again and you feel like crap.

Sometimes my inability to trust and my extreme paranoia screw me over. Those are things I've been fighting with for as long as I can remember.

I've faced up to the fact that no matter how much I worry over something, it's not going to change how it is, and sometimes the best thing to do is to put it in God's hands and work hard to change the things you can, and not futilely waste your energy on the others.