Bibliophilic Vermin

Oh ho! No school for me today, apparently the rain was freezing on the mountain so all of they county schools were called off. Why is this important you ask. Well, I'll tell you, my friend. Today makes the fourth day off from school. Indeed! You may well gasp in terror. Four days is much too long a weekend when your not expecting it.

I had no books lined up and my sad lack of vehicle makes it impossible to leave the house. So, I got to stay at home. By myself. Now, don't get me wrong. I have no issues with staying at the house by myself, I'm 17 for goodness sake, but if left without proper stimulation for more than three hours my imagination will get carried away with itself. I start seeing people out of the corners of my eyes, people walking past my door, unfamiliar reflections in the mirror, and that oh so cliche tapping on the window. By the time four hours have passed I'm jumping around corners brandishing a serrated kitchen knife and screaming at inanimate objects.

After about four and half hours I've decided that a nap is called for. So, I put all pointy objects back in their drawers and make my way to my bedroom. A safe haven if there ever was one. My room is largely occupied by books and large piles of clothes. A sneak attack through there is impossible. I would be alerted when they stumbled over strategically placed pile of suitcases. --These would be old empty suit cases. Great for keeping random unorganizable clutter in.--

Five and a half hours have passed alone when the crunch crunch of disturbed papers wakes me. Ha ha! So, my fear of the unknown is justified. Something has found it's way into my room. I sit up and listen carefully, positive that I HAD heard something. Once again, I hear the sound of paper crinkling. Yet, I see no one. Perhaps there is a friendly spirit that's doing my overdue Chemistry homework. Afraid not, the Chemistry book is sitting forlornly on my desk waiting to be neglected some more. The origin of the sound seems to be coming from one of my bookshelves, so I grab a flash light and walk over to investigate. I get down on the floor and there it is. An adorable shiny black eyed mouse.

It was just a piece of a mouse, less than half the size of my palm.-- Guess of course. I did NOT pick the disease ridden thing up.-- After the mandatory second of, " Aren't you just a cute mouse?!" I was forced to decide on an action.

I could:

A. Toss it some cheese and hope that it decides not to procreate.
B. Set up some nice catch and release traps.
C. Smash it with a hammer!

My decision was taken from me when it whipped itself around revealing twice it's body length in long bald tail. **Insert grossed out shivering here.** That sucker had to die. I picked up the nearest long thrustable object which happpend to be a ridicuously heavy and blunted sword. --Note to self: Look into long spears.-- I had the light trained on it's beady little eyes when it blinked. Drat. For some reason I associate blinking with the communication.

Now my straight forward plan of seek and destroy had been thwarted by the fact that it as obviously trying to tell my something. That was all it took to restart the imagination drive that had been turned off when my baser cave man instincts kicked in. --" Ung. Me want kill mouse."--

Maybe the mouse wasn't a mouse at all! Mayhap it was the reencarnated spirit of some ancient philosopher. It was attracted to the irresistable smell of books and was now trying to tell me who it was. Once an inkwell was provided it would obviously be able to provide me with the meaning of life written in small mousey scrawl. It was quite clear that it was up to me to preserve this furred fountain of knowledge.

I was trying to decide if it resembled Aristotle or Descartes more when it decided to scurry UP the bookshelf. Oh snap. Not only did my rodent friend possess ancient philosophical strategy, it had also been bitten by a radioactice spider. The advantage higher ground was now on it's side and jumped back with, "EEk! EEk!" clearly racing through my mind. All thoughts of preservation were now off. The want to help a defensless creature had now turned to outmaneuvering a spidey-power endowed philosophizing rat.

I got it cornered between two bookshelves and did a one handed stab at it through the crack. Swordmanship is obviously not my forte because I hadn't even stunned it. It was now blinking up at me in one last attempt at intelligible communication. I had already figured out this was just another ploy of the mouse race to incite mercy. You can not fool me again! I positioned the light and put both hands on the sword this time, steadying my aim. I struck down! Right before I reached it I had a thought of how gross actually stabbing it was going to be. Plus, I would get mouse gore all over my carpet. So, instead of a death lunge it was more of a creepy caress that said, " There, there, Mouse. Why don't you go nibble on Tolkein. It's full of fine quality paper."

So, the mouse got away. I've resorted to locking all three of our cats in my room and hoping for the best. The moral of this story? If you don't constantly feed your brain new information then it will TURN on you.

Spidey Mouse indeed.